Category Archives: Reflection

Boundaries

I think this is something I’ve gotten better at over the years.

Still there’s always room for improvement.

The most difficult emotion I think I still struggle with, is guilt.

I feel guilty for saying no sometimes.

I feel guilty for pushing some people away, even when I know they’re not the most healthy company to keep.

I feel guilty for making time for myself because it feels selfish on some levels.

But I accept that it is work in progress, and that learning to set healthy and balanced boundaries will always be something worth getting better at.

Advertisements

Healing Conversations

Meeting up with a long-time friend last night after a period of hiatus offered me some new insights and perspectives on being in this world.

I told her that our meetup was very healing for me, for reasons I couldn’t quite articulate in the moment myself. “I don’t know… It just felt healing… on a deeper level.” I replied when she asked how was it healing.

It was only after some reflection and processing this afternoon that I think I came to some sort of explanation…

See, in my relationship with myself, I think I am at the stage where I can comfortably switch between roles, act them out accordingly, and give myself time and space to recharge, thereby reconnecting with myself, and maintaining authenticity and a relatively authentic relationship with myself. I may not always want to be outgoing and spontaneous, but if my job requires it I am able to tell myself that there is meaning in doing this, so let’s do it, and most of the time I am able to make peace with the different roles I have to play in daily life.

But, in my relationship with the world, I don’t think I always have this harmony or peace. In fact, there may be times when I might actually resent and blame the world for all my painful, conflicting emotions, my struggles with unworthiness and inferiority and inadequacy. While I can forgive myself for having to act inauthentically at times, I may not always forgive the world, that which has forced me to act in this way and which has imposed these struggles upon me (at least that’s how I see it).

And thus, having friends who represent a facet of that world, showing me that it is possible for at least a small part of that external world to understand, to not judge, to really LISTEN, to validate and see me for who I am, without expecting me to change to meet their expectations…

This longtime friend was just that, and I think that’s why and where I found healing.

Thank you πŸ™‚

Walk Our Why

If someone were to ask us “why do you do the work you do?” I hope can come up with a better answer than “well, I enjoy it.”

The “why” of our actions is can be a very powerful motivator, something that sticks even when reality hits, and we realise that yes, some things are more work than others, but there are always trade-offs and nothing is more powerful than knowing WHY we do the work we do.

May we all find our Whys.