A Little Thing

It’s a usual music therapy practice to greet each person in the group individually at the start of the session, and to say goodbye to each individual. It is a way to invite each individual into the group setting, and at the end, to thank them for their contribution to the group.

Well yesterday, I forgot to say bye to each individual kid after a session.

After the group goodbye song, the boys were transited to go toileting, then to go for their outdoor activity.

But one of the little boys decided otherwise – he apparently pulled his teacher back to the classroom, where I was still packing and clearing the area after their session.

I had turned around and there he stood, looking at me, somewhat bashfully.

Unaware of his agenda, I asked “A, what is it?” Not that he could verbalise a reply, but I knew he was capable of communicating through gestures and vocalisations.

When a few more moments had passed without him initiating anything, I looked at the teacher standing at the entrance of the classroom.

“Do you know what he wants?” I asked.

“He wants to say bye.”

BOOM.

It hit me then. Of course. I had forgotten to give each kid their individual goodbye after the session, perhaps unconsciously assuming that the goodbye song was good enough and that it wouldn’t make a difference to them anyway… Apparently it does!

Squatting to his eye level, I said “Bye bye A!” and held out my palm for a high-5. He returned the high-5 immediately, smiled and turned to walk back to his teacher.

Heart melts.

The little things do matter. A lot.

Hello, pal.

 

Which can be the hardest thing to do, sometimes, but also the most necessary.

Walk Our Why

If someone were to ask us “why do you do the work you do?” I hope can come up with a better answer than “well, I enjoy it.”

The “why” of our actions is can be a very powerful motivator, something that sticks even when reality hits, and we realise that yes, some things are more work than others, but there are always trade-offs and nothing is more powerful than knowing WHY we do the work we do.

May we all find our Whys.

Work in Progress

Still working on it – especially the “yourself” part.

 

Courage

So I recently found myself in a situation where I wasn’t quite sure what kind of courage I needed to show, or for what reason I needed to show the courage for.

Unfortunately I took the easy way out and kept quiet, neither fighting for myself nor others. And came to regret it, a little bit.

Learning in progress. Work in progress. Always in progress.

Never-Ending Business

Every once in a while, I go back to some old journals, and never fail to be amazed by what I find.

Did I really think that way? Did I really write these things?

It’s always a useful glimpse into the past, present, and even the future. Because I am then reminded that even this “mind”, which we think is our constant, this “me” that we think has always been consistent…

Are far from it.

And the journey of knowing and changing continues.

Time

Because money is cheap, and time is expensive.

The Beauty of Ignoring…

Trying to wrap my head around this one.

Maybe not being so fixated on some things can help it naturally emerge better…

Liberation from Fear

From the one and only Mandela, who certainly had plenty to fear in his life.

As I reflect on this quote, one particular fear that I’ve always carried around comes to mind: The fear of judgement from others.

In a recent MBCT session, we were asked to write down a possible stress/depression trigger. I wrote:

“When I feel that others are watching and grading the quality of what I do”. 

What sort of thoughts run through your mind then?

“They can tell I’m acting. They will be able to tell I’m not that good. They’ll be able to tell I’m trying to fake it. They’ll see me for who I really am, with my weaknesses and all. I won’t be liked as much after this.” 

What happens in your body?

“Lightheaded. Heart racing. Adrenaline rush.”

What do you feel like doing (after)?

“Tell a trusted friend about it. Pray. Seek validation from myself or from others. Journal about it. Process. Change environment so that I can get a different perspective on the experience (and I usually do, thankfully).” 

Are there any old habits of thinking or behaviour that might unwittingly keep you stuck in feelings of depression or stress?

“Replaying the scene in my head, over and over again.” 

 

While I was told that I have pretty good coping mechanisms, it doesn’t change the fact that we will still face plenty of scenarios in life that would make us fearful. Slowly, I see how our way of BEING (being mindful, being aware of our old thought habits which may be unhealthy) can affect the way we DO things, and that in turn might have an effect on how we are SEEN. While changing our behaviour to cater to the approval of others is never a good idea, we ourselves would certainly benefit from a better quality of doing, doing from a place of non-fear.

And who wouldn’t benefit from a presence of non-fear?

The Inevitable

As I mused to someone before… We who tend to be easily affected by the opinions of others and who hold ourselves to high expectations would likely carry these traits with us wherever we go.

So no matter which job you do, which country you move to, it’s probably unlikely that you’d be able to get away from yourself.

Which is why, as always, the most important work has to be done within.