The journey feels long and never-ending.
May I remember that even when things feel the same, when each day just feels like the day before, or like an even bigger struggle… Even when I cannot sense that there is anything happening…
Change is always there.
And that is why it won’t always be like that.
-Morgan Harper Nichols
Even here, I see light coming in the form of my supportive and loving family, my patient and caring friends, my meaning-filled and gratitude-filled work.
And I want to always believe that even in the darkness, we can make our own light.
As I sat down for lunch, I noticed this little guy was at the bottom of the wall. He hardly seemed to be moving, if at all.
About 10 minutes later, I looked in his direction and saw that he had made it this far. Wow, that was fast, I thought.
At the end of my lunch, as I was packing to go off, I took one more look at him and saw that he had made it to the top of the wall, and seemed to have reached his destination among the bushes.
Slow and steady. You will make it.
“What makes you think you can help others when you can’t even help yourself?”
Excuse me, voice in my head. I’d like to let you know that I’ve done plenty to help myself. I have asked for help. I have reached out. I have made certain changes to my lifestyle. I’ve been courageous enough to ask for more help. I’ve been working on voices like you, who may have developed at some point in time in my life for some purpose which is no longer relevant and hence does not benefit me anymore.
The fact that we are still on this journey does not mean that I have not done enough.
It might simply mean that the journey is still ongoing, that the process is continuing, that we are truly all works in progress.
Trust the process.
If I write enough about it, maybe it will go away.
If I allow enough emotion to spill over, perhaps it will cease to exist.
If I sleep long enough, and feel rested enough, perhaps it will be ok…?