Tag Archives: Thoughts

Healing Conversations

Meeting up with a long-time friend last night after a period of hiatus offered me some new insights and perspectives on being in this world.

I told her that our meetup was very healing for me, for reasons I couldn’t quite articulate in the moment myself. “I don’t know… It just felt healing… on a deeper level.” I replied when she asked how was it healing.

It was only after some reflection and processing this afternoon that I think I came to some sort of explanation…

See, in my relationship with myself, I think I am at the stage where I can comfortably switch between roles, act them out accordingly, and give myself time and space to recharge, thereby reconnecting with myself, and maintaining authenticity and a relatively authentic relationship with myself. I may not always want to be outgoing and spontaneous, but if my job requires it I am able to tell myself that there is meaning in doing this, so let’s do it, and most of the time I am able to make peace with the different roles I have to play in daily life.

But, in my relationship with the world, I don’t think I always have this harmony or peace. In fact, there may be times when I might actually resent and blame the world for all my painful, conflicting emotions, my struggles with unworthiness and inferiority and inadequacy. While I can forgive myself for having to act inauthentically at times, I may not always forgive the world, that which has forced me to act in this way and which has imposed these struggles upon me (at least that’s how I see it).

And thus, having friends who represent a facet of that world, showing me that it is possible for at least a small part of that external world to understand, to not judge, to really LISTEN, to validate and see me for who I am, without expecting me to change to meet their expectations…

This longtime friend was just that, and I think that’s why and where I found healing.

Thank you πŸ™‚

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Growth Mindset

For the days when I forget. When it feels easier to beat yourself up for not being perfect, than to remember that there is no perfect.

Instead, there is striving, there is trying, there is consistency, discipline, and hope. All of which, even when 100% present, will not give us perfection.

But will surely lead to improvement. And perhaps that truly is a more realistic, and better goal… than the dead-end of perfection.

Never-Ending Business

Every once in a while, I go back to some old journals, and never fail to be amazed by what I find.

Did I really think that way? Did I really write these things?

It’s always a useful glimpse into the past, present, and even the future. Because I am then reminded that even this “mind”, which we think is our constant, this “me” that we think has always been consistent…

Are far from it.

And the journey of knowing and changing continues.