Tag Archives: gandhi

In A Gentle Way

It’s hard, though. Especially in a world where everything seems to move only through force, fear and/or loudness.

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Reflections @ Kiasu Espresso

Saturday –  I used some of the alone-time to reflect on the daughter I am / have been.

I do not deny that as we get older, we naturally have our own circle of friends, activities, plans and schedules. So do my parents, and that’s a good thing, because it means that they have a purpose in life beyond raising children and taking care of our every need.

However, it may also mean that we get to understand each other less, as we form our own lives, more and more apart from each other.

A few days ago, I got angry at my father who expressed certain views which differed from mine. Today, I got out of the house in a hurry because I found their conversations too noisy.

I questioned myself: By escaping like this, does it solve the problems? Obviously not.

If I think about it carefully, I realise I have 2 main options:

1. Make more effort to make them understand me

2. Make more effort to understand them

And since I am not the sort of person who goes around imposing my thoughts and views on others (for fear of more rejection, ridicule or otherwise), I suppose the best thing for me to do would be to make more effort to understand them, where they are coming from,  why they may behave in certain ways (like speaking about mundane things super loudly, which really gets on my nerves at times), or say certain things (like discouraging travel and putting it across as one of the most dangerous activities in the world).

As Gandhi said, “We need to be the change we wish to see in the world.” Before we judge and condemn, we ought to examine ourselves and see if we have made the effort to understand first.

Growing old is never easy. And as I do not think I was a very easy child growing up (throwing moody tantrums, crying for no reason, refusing to participate in school activities, even refusing to go to school for a period of time!), I suppose it is only fair that I get my share of challenges now and in future.

I just hope that I will have the mental strength and capacity to do all I need to do, and still love as I have been loved.