Sometimes, before I sleep, I would grab a book off the shelf beside me – a book I have read before, and flip to any random page, just for some light reading to relax my over-active mind.
A few nights ago, I picked out ‘Elegance of the Hedgehog”, and my eyes fell on this paragraph, which immediately captured my mind like never before (so much for light-reading).
This pause in time, within time…when did I first experience the exquisite sense of surrender that is possible only with another person? The peace of mind one experiences on one’s own, one’s certainty of self in the serenity of solitude, are nothing in comparison to the release and openness and fluency one shares with another, in close companionship…
And I thought of how, as much as I enjoy my own company, to a certain extent, being on our own too much, having to be on the lookout for yourself all the time, may make one into an overly-cautious person.
With the few close friends I have, being with them, as we go through the ups and downs of life, as we develop our relationship with each other, one conversation, one insight at a time, does give me a sense of relief and surrender. The knowledge that we can look out for each other, that we need not bear our burdens alone, that we can always count on the other to be there, gives another dimension to life that one might not be able to experience in solitude.
And then I slowly floated to sleep, with prayers and hopes for the happiness of all my close companions 🙂
“… Just thinking about trees and their indifferent majesty and our love for them teaches us how ridiculous we are – vile parasites squirming on the surface of the earth – and at the same time how observing of life we can be, when we can honor this beauty that owes us nothing.
Kakuro was talking about birch trees and, forgetting all those psychoanalysis and intelligent people who don’t know what to do with their intelligence, I felt my spirit expand, for I was capable of grasping the utter beauty of the trees.” – Elegance of the Hedgehog