As I mused to someone before… We who tend to be easily affected by the opinions of others and who hold ourselves to high expectations would likely carry these traits with us wherever we go.
So no matter which job you do, which country you move to, it’s probably unlikely that you’d be able to get away from yourself.
Which is why, as always, the most important work has to be done within.
From Death in The Book Thief.
Because humans, and the being human, may always a conundrum that even the powerful Death cannot figure out.
Having been in this new job environment for a little more than half a year, I realise that being a wallflower does have its perks.
Sure, I miss the joy of having close friendships at work, the kind I used to enjoy in the earlier years of working and in teaching. But ever since the job switch, I’ve also realised the joys and conveniences of being a wallflower – the lack of social obligations, the freedom to come and go pretty much however and whenever I choose. The joys of more quiet time, more efficiency with less chit chat. It also makes me feel more “anonymous”, even though I know I’m not. We still talk, we still collaborate, we still rant when we need to and I still have people I trust enough to go to with my work-related problems. We just stop there, that’s all. And at the end of the day I find it easier to “go home” – both physically and emotionally. Which think is important for my well-being.
Maybe there are people out there who need to have close friends where they work to feel that they belong, or to feel part of a community, in order to enjoy their job. I think I’ve learnt that I don’t necessarily need that, and it’d do me good to not feel the pressure to live up to that norm.
All’s good with this wallflower:)
Or anyone else, for that matter.
Always thankful for people in my life who understand my needed silence.
After all, one cannot be without the other.
Embarking on a new journey this year, there have been numerous opportunities for me to put this belief into practice.
It’s always easy to look at what others have/are and say: “I’m not like that”.
It takes a considerable amount of determination and conditioning to say: “No, I’m not like that. BUT, I am…. … …”
A little more than 2 months on, and the journey continues 🙂
The latest skill I’ve been picking up.
Watching the words form according to the pressure of the nib has been therapeutic, comforting and strangely satisfying. Now, I just need to keep improving!