As I do reflection on the journey thus far, about 2 weeks since I have returned to the land down under, I realise that the navigation of new boundaries has been the main theme for much of this year’s journey.
This constant navigation has meant readjusting my expectations. Looking at the new roles I’m expected to play. And an inter-play between the two to achieve balance and avoid disappointment.
Housemates who are at home much more often than my previous housemates. This means that I don’t get the whole house to myself as much anymore, except in the mornings. Navigating this newly imposed boundary means that it’d do me good to make the most of my morning-person-ness, so that I am less frustrated when they start hogging the kitchen in the later part of the day. Not having the whole house to myself also means having to search for new places where I can truly be in a quiet environment. The campus library has become my third home, and I am just so thankful that the new library building is ready this year, and opened on weekends! It is my Esplanade.
Course-wise, I am navigating the role of a second-year, seniors to the first years now. Just like how we used to ask the second-years questions about placements and assignments, the first-years are now asking us the same things, and we are now being looked up to, depended upon for advice. The feeling is scary and fulfilling at the same time, knowing that we are able to help yet having such big shoes to fill.
Personally, I am navigating with the knowledge that this is my last year as a student, and that the future at this moment is pretty much uncertain (or certain, depending on how you look at it) for me. I try to embrace this uncertainty, to see it as a beautiful blank canvas on which anything can be painted. In the meantime, I want to gather as many skills and tools as I can, so that when the time comes, I can paint any picture I am asked or required to.
When we really think about it, life is a continuous process of navigation. We adjust our decisions, expectations, actions. We hope to avoid disappointment and always encounter beauty, while knowing that it impossible for life to be like that. The journey is the destination.