If Only.

There she is, lying on my laptop case.

Such a sweetie!

If only…

If only cats didn’t claw and scratch at things so much >.<

Caramel

Got new books.

Decided to drop by the Caramel of Hairloom and Caramel, as I heard it was stopping operations soon.

The last time I came here was years ago. I arrived with a fellow kc, when we were still young and (more) innocent. We had oohed and aahhed at the colourful chairs, and the vintage items on sale.

This time I was alone, older, perhaps a little more tired than Me who had come years before.

But some things don’t change 🙂

The Open Road

Thanks to Books Actually vouchers, I have been reading.

“The Open Road: The Global Journey of the Fourteenth Dalai Lama”

“We have enough religions. Enough religions, but not enough human beings. Don’t let us talk too much of religion. Let us talk of what is human.”

Walking Home

Today I walked, for a second time, from CP to my block, which is a distance of about 3 LRT stations away.

What might have took 20 minutes stretched to a little more than half an hour, because I was stopping every few steps to take a picture.

Bubble tea in one hand, Phoebe and App in the other… what better way to destress and forgot about all the unhappiness caused by egoistic humans (myself included) at work?

   

 

“You wouldn’t care so much about what others think when you realise they don’t care very much at all.”

Me? An Idealist?

I think back to almost 2 years ago. When I first came in.

Maybe I was an idealist then.  Definitely more than I am now, at least.

 

Today, a senior teacher was telling us about a contract teacher last year who burst into tears after a class gave her a hard time, and she used up half the tissue in his box.  (Angel, if you’re reading this, he’s the one with the Mustache!)

“I -I don’t understand… wh-why they don’t want to learn!!!” she had sobbed.

“Even YOU are not as idealistic as her!” He pointed to me.

Surprised, I asked why he would think I was an idealist to begin with.

“Well, you’re vegetarian.”

I laughed and shook my head. Perhaps I tend to be more positive only when it comes to working with and relating to people. But where bigger pictures are concerned, like.. human nature, politics, systems, power struggles, war… the world at large… I just shake my head and see the glass as half empty rather than half full. I mean, I just look through my past diary/notebook entries, and half the time I’m lamenting at the state (or statelessness) of things around.

“I think I can be more of a pessimist than an idealist.” I replied.

 

Maybe… I am an idealist… in my own world. Where cats and hamsters live in perfect harmony.

In other worlds, I’m just a dreamer.

Me and Them

I don’t understand what is it about spirituality and humans.

Sometimes, I feel, the purity of spirituality becomes tainted when too much of being human gets in the way.

Isn’t our relationship with God something personal?

In our modern world, with parliaments, governments, and political parties, even spirituality has become somewhat politicized.

“You’ve been Called to do…”

“You’ve been Chosen…”

“You must Help us…”

“It is for the Greater Good…”

“It is a privilege to Serve…”

I mean, I don’t mind helping in good causes. Event planning, Seva, Volunteering, I’d do it. And I have.

But what I don’t want, and don’t like, is Titles.

“Cell Leader.”

“Secretary.”

“Publications.”

“Accounting.”

“Committee Member.”

What is with the human need to bureaucratize everything? To raise funds to build this… To prepare an event to launch that…

I just want my relationship with You to be kept pure and simple, based on personal devotion, prayer and faith.

Surely that is not too much to ask?

Or am I being plain selfish?

 

Sigh.

I did not think I’d be posting something like this today.

Nevertheless, Happy Birthday 🙂

OFF Load

Something has been weighing on my chest the past month.

I didn’t really tell anyone (except. Her and my brother) about it because I really didn’t want to dwell on it. I still believe things happen for a reason. And I kept telling myself, if I’ve been brought to it, I’ll be brought through it.

 

And this was what happened:

I signed up 3 students for the piano practical exam this season.

Sub-consciously, I was waiting for the letter to arrive in the letterbox, telling me when the exact dates and venues are. After all, this was how I took my piano exams when I was a student.

BUT. I FORGOT.

That from 2011, no more snail-mail letters are going to be sent out. Everything will be communicated online!

SO I FORGOT TO CHECK THE DATES ONLINE.

AND MY STUDENTS MISSED THE EXAM DATE.

When the guy called me to ask why ALL my candidates did not turn up for their exam, my heart skipped a beat and sank. But, keeping my calm, I asked him: “Is there anything that can be done about this?”

The guy on the line remarked about how cool I was about the whole matter.

“Well, freaking out now won’t exactly help either.” I replied in my head.

Anyway, I was told to write in to the head office and request to be allocated a second date, a second chance. That I did promptly.

And another round of waiting started.

Around mid-September, when there was still no news, I dropped them another email, asking when could I know if there would be dates allocated. I mean, if they decided not to give us a second chance, I’d have to break the news to my students… and their parents. *shudders*

I was told to wait. Again.

Finally, today, I called them and spoke to the same guy.

NOW IT’S THEIR FAULT. They totally missed my email and my request!

But the good news?

My students will be given re-entry vouchers. That means, even if they want to take a higher grade next year (which I’m already preparing them for), they just need to top-up the amount.

Why is this a load off me?

The whole month, I kept thinking, the worst case scenario is, I’ll have to pay my students back from my own pockets. After all, it was my fault I didn’t check the exam dates online in the first place.And the thought of losing $400+ from my bank account was just… arghhh. Especially when I’m saving for *other things*. But now that I know I don’t have to, I’m really relieved. I can start blog-shopping again! (Yes I actually abstained from it for a whole month!)

 

This shall be a lesson learnt.

In future, there is going to be no more snail mail letters. CHECK ONLINE.

Surprises

On a week when I did not practice AT ALL, I perform better than ever during lesson, earning myself praises and encouraging words, and leaving me to wonder what happened when I DID practice, then?

Breakthrough

So. Last night, I played the sympathy card.

 

“Daddy.”

“Yes?”

“You know, sometimes when I come home from work… I feel lonely.”

(At this point I thought he would ask me to get a boyfriend or something.)

“Lonely? Hmm.. Pray la.”

(Faints)

“Eh… ya. And also… I was thinking… Can we get another pet?” *Flashes my sweetest smile ever*

“Another pet? Another hamster!?”

“Or….”

“You want a cat.”

“Or….”

“You want a dog?!”

“Nooooo! Ya la I was thinking hamster or guinea pig or… cat.” *Flashes another nice smile*

There was silence for a while.

Then:

“You want to keep pets, you better not travel.”

“orh.”

“Think about it, ok?”

 

The bottomline?

HE DID NOT SAY NO.

Now… I see 2 solutions to this.

1. Stop travelling

2. Get them to fall in love with an independent cat so they won’t mind taking care of it even when I travel

Hello.

Am I a pessimist by nature?

As I was doing up this new blog, I found myself veering away from themes that were too bright, too cheery… like a vampire shielding away from the sunlight.

Anyway, if you want to know the REAL reason why I moved?

Xanga was getting irritating.

“It won’t be the same without you.”

And you, too.