Missing a Different Kind of Solitude

Perhaps it’s the overdose of human interaction I’ve had over the past few days, but I’ve been missing the life led in Sydney.

Especially when a Friend send me a picture of the vast landscape from down under.

It reminded me of the unhindered sunsets and sunrises I used to enjoy right outside my window. It also hit me – How much beauty in our daily lives we are missing. Not only because we are too busy with our phones and work deadlines, but also because we are literally and physically blocked by all our high-rise apartments, our fumes from vehicles and our factories, our haze. We’ve also blocked ourselves from such beauty by simply not have the desire to experience them. By simply not having the determination to make them accessible to ourselves.

With this realisation and missing, I felt a Pang in my stomach, an ache around my heart. I found myself yearning for the days when I could start by witnessing the quietly beautiful sunrises, and end the day with the solemn silence of sunsets. I miss the days when I could wake up and not say a word to anyone for the entire day, save for speaking the service staff. Texting, and the mandatory Skype sufficed. I miss the days when I could go out with no agenda except to experience the new and be with myself.

Do not misunderstand – I love being back home. I love being in the moment. I love being around family and friends. I love my work and where I am now. I love being financially independent and stable… for now.

But.

I just miss that Life I used to have. And I accept that part of the beauty in this nostalgia comes from the fact that it was a Fleeting time. The blue of distance. Some things are more beautiful far away.

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