And so, after 2* years of being pampered and taken care of by the wonderful pair of people known as The Parents, I am finally on my own.
It is only the first day, and I have had some bouts of loneliness already. Am hoping these bouts will abate once the course starts. But there is a good 12 days till then.
In the meantime, I am trying to get used to the fact that there will be no warm soup waiting for me when I walk through the door. If I do not plan and prepare, there will be no food at all. If I do not clean, dust will collect. If I do not make an effort to do productive things which diverts my attention, if I do not make the effort to make friends, I could very well sit inside my room the whole day and mope about how alone I am.
As I walked along the campus path today, trying to familiarize myself with the very unfamiliar surroundings, I thought: “Why do I put myself through this? Why couldn’t I just have stayed where I was, continued being taken care of, continued with the job I had, live life normally?”
Because a life lived without knowing how this experience would turn out would not be normal to me. If I didn’t push for myself to experience this, my life would be anything but normal. I would live, always wondering “What if…” I would always feel that I did not do justice to my dreams.
And with that thought in mind, the first day ends. The second begins. And I continue to remind myself that everything happens for a reason, that whatever doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, that I am in a beautiful place in a beautiful time. That my wish was to do something useful with this life, and I mustn’t forget that. Oh and… Live in the present 🙂